first of all, I’m sorry that my blog is not as funny and lively as a lot of other blogs, that mine is only full of rants and me being emo. The thing is, if I was happy and having a good time, I won’t spend my time blogging!
I’ve change my account with a totally different nickname (this one) because I don’t want anyone that I knew to detect my existence here.

Okay, on with what my post today is all about. In my last blog, which I’ve deleted.. I’ve said bad things about my..I’m not sure if I should say bf, but yeah..it’s something like that, or at least it was.

But today, I want to say sorry to him. I really really wish I could.
I wanna say sorry that I don’t understand his feeling.
I’m sorry that I only think of how I feel and not how he feels.
I’m sorry that I am being so self-centered.

I really really wanna say sorry that I think bad about him..
I thought that he has change..and that he took me for granted, that he never cherish all the good time we had together..that he only think of me as nothing but a pixel friend.
I almost blog about that tonight!
I’m so thankful I decided to pm one of my best buddy, which is his real life friend to talk this thing out.
Actually I didn’t want to drag other people into this..but I really wanna know what truly happen to him.
So, I told my buddy what happen between us.
and I told all those things I stated above.
From that, I finally knew the truth.

The truth that..
He really happy having me as his friend.
He never really talk and express himself to girls as much as he did to me.
And when the thing that brought us into this problem happen, all of his friend can see him distancing himself.
NO, please don’t think him as a no-lifer and a loner in real life!
Okay, maybe a loner..but definitely not a no-lifer.
I don’t wanna elaborate more on that..but that’s the reason why I thought wrongly of him..
Because I thought he got so many other great things in real life that he took me for granted.
i thought that even if I was sad here thinking of this stupid problem we have, he on the other side probably not even think about it at all, still having fun.
I feel so guilty and so bad to think of such things. How could I simply judge a person like that. The worst part is..I’ve told him that..

I will be going back to my home country in a couple of days..
I’m going to meet up with that buddy of mine which is his real life friend, for the first time.
I will ask the guy to hand over something to him. and in that gift, I will put a small note saying “I’m Sorry”.
From that I think is more personal than just words and text messages in Maple or mail.
I hope that we can work this out, and go back to that wonderful time. and be happy again.

wish me luck.

oh.. I found a cool quote from a blog a couple of weeks ago- not mmo blog, but the author is mapler. I lost the link though. =.=” it’s like this..
“I’m sorry that I’m DEXless I can’t shoot down to your heart, I’m INTless I don’t understand how you feel, I’m STRless I can’t do anything to make you stay, I’m LUKless I always fail in this love..”