Mr.GoodFriend

There were 5 friends which use to hang out on Cavillia Island in the Village of Light.
One of them was named Tiffy(she was the beauty in the group and had a path of greatness since she was going to be accepted as a Model for “The City” and shes good with a dagger),there was Guy(he was in the path to great success to being the best swordsman in his village),there was Sora(he was the master of the gate to Darkness which he lost his parents too which he carries around the Gloves of Hipatchi<<<his fathers name),there was Ray(he had the eyes of a inventor which he gained from his dad and the face of an angel from his mom which he carries around a cross from his mother),and there was Loki(hes the village troublemaker and he causes trouble with his running shoes which people cant see him when he runs).
One day a guy comes from no where starts demanding to enter the Gate of Darkness.Sora starts pushing the guy back with his hands.The guy turns into a dark liquid looking thing and Sora burns his hands.Sora uses the Gloves of Hipachi and shoots lightning at the liquid.The guy reforms as he whips Sora with his tarred sworded hand. Sora is determined then he summons the 1st Gate animal Leo the Lion,as the lion roars him towards the sky.The guy shouts out “I will return to open the gates od Darkness and you people will know Anubis has open the gates.” Sora is quickly treated by Tiffy as she passes by the forest. A few nights have passed and no sights of the stange man. Sora looks into this guy Anubis as he asks his friends to look him up.Then on the day Sora parents were sucked into the gates the gates opens. The sirens go off and Tiffy,Guy,and Ray comes rushing to the gates. When they reach the gate they dont see Sora as they run into the gates without the adults looking.Loki tries to follow them but hes cut off by the guards. Loki then runs around them and causes a tornadoe to blow away the guards. Sora then is found lying on the floor where he looks beaten up. Tiffy reaches for a napkin and cuts some fabric off to wipe off the blood. Loki catches up to them and finds dark monsters around him. Loki carries Sora and causes a tornadoe and heads out with his friends. Then all of a sudden the guy Anubis comes up and attacks Loki. Loki drops Sora as he falls. Guy then takes his sword and whacks Anubis with it as he falls back. Ray wishes as he can do something but he cant. Then Ray’s cross lights up and grows and becomes a cross staff. Ray then points the staff at Anubis as Anubis comes up to them.Ray shoots a bolt of light at him.He flinches as the bolt hits him on his hand. Tiffy throws daggers at him as she tries to do something to protect Sora. Loki wakes up and he starts kicking dirt from the ground at Anubis.Anubis then calls all the dark monsters as he is blinded. the monsters then rushes at them at a high speed. Ray and Tiffy quickly fuses there weapons with each other. Ray shoots the bolt as Tiffy throws a dagger at the bolt and makes it explode at the monsters. Loki and Guy quickly thinks of a plan.Loki runs around in a tornadoe as Guy sticks out his sword in the tornadoe and knocks back the monsters. Then a big dark monster comes out from the bottom of them four. The monster then was going to eat them but Sora uses the gloves and punches the big monster with a fire hit.The monster falls down and drops the 4.Then Sora summons the 7 gate animals. Leo the Lion,Pisces the Fish,Miles the Fox,Sonic the Hedgehog,Sentret the Squirrel,Pikachu the Mouse,and Swim the Turtle. The 7 animals surround Anubis and lock him up.As he was getting locked up the gate was closing. Tiffy,Ray,Guy,Loki,and Sora rush out as Tiffy,Guy,Ray,Loki and Sora make it out.But the monsters hold the gate and try to push there way out. Sora knocks back the mosnter with a punch as the other 4 try to shutthe gate. Sora makes a honorable sacarfice and tells his goodbyes to his friends. Sora punches the gate and the gate closes.That that is how the title is called “Mr.GoodFriend.

3 thoughts on “Mr.GoodFriend”

  1. Here is my constructive criticism. Props on using proper spelling and grammar. A lot of people don’t even get that far. -_-; But here are my tips on how you can improve your writing. One: I’m sure you’ve heard of these, they’re called paragraphs. It really turns me off when I see a large jumble of words put together. Also, your story seems strangely disjointed. It’s like, A does B. B does C. C does A. I suppose it’s the lack of transitions.
    Also, a lot of people like descriptive sentences, and you lacked that in your story for the most part (the beginning was okay as far as description goes). Other than that, pretty good try for a story. =) Only thing is, Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu the mouse? -_-;

  2. lol, u had sonic and pikachu! XD

    btw, sentret is a pokemon too! and isn’t “miles” tails, the 2 tailed yellow fox, in the sonic games?

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