Fightaz!! Part 1

15 Comments

Back in the Revolution…..EDIT: IT is short….but I’m makin more =o

There was a boy named Tal not old enough to know his parents…then the government came and shot his parents…10 years later Tal wanted to kill the government…he had to pickpocket people to feed himslef….Tal was only 10……now Tal is a wanderer………he’s wandering the whole world to find the person who killed his parents…

Zing: Hey who are you?

Tal: I’m Tal……go away

Zing: Your that kid…..from the revolution….

Tal: Yup…

Zing: I’ve been after you for 3 years…trying to kill you…..

Tal: You wanna fight…

Zing: *Runs towards Tal with a spear*

Tal: That’s it *Moves and hits Zing in the chin*

Zing: *Starts pouring blood out of his mouth* ..ach

Tal: *Walks away*

A few people saw what happened…

Man: Hurry get him to a hospital!!!

Zing: I’m fine…Hey kid!

Tal: Yeah?

Zing: I’m not done yet!!

Tal: Whatever

To be continued
Do you think I should continue?

15 thoughts on “Fightaz!! Part 1”

  2. Its bad.

    Descriptions.

    Too much dialogue.

    Too much ellipses.

    If this was a story, follow the stuff above. If you are doing a ‘skit’ you’re doing quite well.

  4. MasterCheeze said: “Lmao.
    No.
    How old are you? And no I’m not being a pervert…

    15
    ~Cheezy”

  6. ZOMG! Double post!
    Just edit the first one to say that. >.>
    Double posting = spam.

    ~Cheezy

  7. You can edit replies with the little + arrow near the time you posted the reply (after you posted it of course) in the bottom right corner of the reply box thing. Remember, don’t double post!

    ~Cheezy

  9. Don’t put the squiggly mark as my name. >.<
    It’s just to make my signature look cool.

    ~Cheezy

  10. Why do you do that I see thats everytime you respind to something doesnt it get annoying after a while?

  11. It’s my signature. It shows that I, MasterCheeze, was in the area and have probably dealt some deal of chaos.
    And yes, it does get kind of annoying but I usually don’t put it down in forums like the “Three Word Story” one or stuff like that. But if I reply to blogs and forums non-related to games and such, I put down my signature. It’s kind of an automatic thing by now. xP

    ~Cheezy

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