The first big day of the new patch is over, and the horrors unleashed onto our world are great.

I start my day in El Nath and my journey towards the pepe and hector screen that I like so very much begins. The first screen i enter is full of throwing stars and numbers, some strange monster that doesn’t live long enough for me to see it is here. I take a few steps and am asked(demanded?) to cc. Next screen is nearly empty, as it usually is, so I decide to mob a few jr yeti and hectors into a little group and destroy them. A priest teleports in and shines his shiny ray upon my mob, because apparently one of the new monsters found its way in there and therefore i must now be ksed. I am told to ccplz. The next screen I have never liked and I never will because a certain class crawls over this screen like roaches in a dark cupboard, feeding on the anger of others as their kills are taken from them. I’m given complete VIP service however, as several hermits feel the need to kill every monster that i walk towards until, finally, I arrive safely at my map. It is empty, the Cake Beasts spawn here more than I would ever like them to, and to date I have found five blue presents. This is my favorite screen in the game.

Why is this a bad experience if I found five blue presents? I’m also the proud owner of five pieces of birthday cake.