[Author’s Note: the lyrics for the song come from a song called Pieces of a Dream, sung by Chemistry (A J-Pop group).]

– Sing it to me again, please Rogue.
– Of course… my little Aaru

“Detarame na yume wo suki katte baramaite
Omocha ni shïte itsu made asonde ita
‘Miesuita ashïta ga ichiban kudaranai’ to
Hashaginagara ki mama ni ikita ano koro”

{Translation:
Tossing around senseless dreams
We played around with them as if they were toys
“I can see the future and it’s boring”
Those days when we frolicked selfishly}

The air was warm and moist due to the rain. The scent of spring all around us as we laid in the middle of the open fields far from the small society that watched over the other children and a few adults. There I had laid next to Rogue, hand in hand, as I rested my head upon his chest as he cradled me in his arms and sung to me. He sang to me in a language I did not understand.

Ah… semete bokutachi ga ichido se wo muketara
Nido to wa modorenai basho nan da to shïttetara

{Translation:
Ah… If only we had known that once we turned our backs
It was a place to which we could never return }

The heavy gray clouds hovered over us as we laid under them. A flash of lightning raced across the sky. I held him close as he protected me from any harm that was to befall on us. My eyes were gazed upon the light show of lightning and my heart was set on becoming who I am today. And Rogue was the inspiration.

Before Rogue could have finished his beautiful song for last time. Thunder clashed and my dream, which was my reality, wasn’t my reality anymore and I had woken up from this dream. A dream I wish it never ended.

——————————————

“Good morning Miss, I hope you slept well” Lex said as I woke up in his arms as he carried me towards the Station. “Um… Yes, I did… I did sleep well… thank you.” I said to him feeling a little confused. “That’s good, ma’am.” He said. He gently put me down as I stood on my own two feet. I looked at him wanting to ask many question of him and Rogue but I thought that now wasn’t the right time to do so. He stood behind me, much like a father would to a daughter. He gently laid his masculine hand on my shoulder and towered over me as he looked around waiting for the train to arrive so that we may head to Orbis.

I know… that I’ve done some things that I regret in my life… will he ever forgive me? Will Rogue still love me?

“Allllllll Abooooooaaaard!!!” The conductor yelled as everyone in the train got off board the train and everyone that waited on the station deck got on board. Lex kept his distance some with his bunny at his side. He petted her, as he appeared to be lost in thought. I watched him for a moment, as I caught myself sighing in sorrow. The trip to Orbis was silent and most of it felt alone. No one talked or smiled. No one approached the famous Chief Bandit. And all you could hear was his little rabbit, Milkshake, kyu`ing throughout the entire trip.

Several minutes had gone by and Lex and I arrived to Orbis. We had let everyone else board off the train and we were the last ones to get off board and walked down the terminal. Flashbacks occurred once in a while. When Fire had ran after me and gave me her things. Also when Tenan apologized to me. My heart raced with guilt and distress. I did not intend to come back here to Orbis, where I left my past behind.

“I have to go to the grocery store, Lex.” I said to him as we reached the ticketing booth. He looked at me and nodded. I led the way to the potion shop to restock on pure waters and fried chicken. “The store is a bit crowded at this time of day.” Lex said as we stepped inside.
“It’s not going to be long, I promised.” I said to him as I headed towards the drink section and towards the carryout food section.
Someone had bumped into me causing me to drop and break a few bottles of pure water. He quickly assisted me and apologized. “I’m sorry I’m sorry…” I looked up at him with a small smile. “It’s alright.”
“Lost… Kitten?” he said with a confused tone of voice. “Is that you?”
My eyes opened in shock as I slowly rose up from the floor. Icey looked at me as the atmosphere around us slowly died down. Lex ran over and pushed Icey to the side. “Miss, did this man hurt you?” he said standing in front of me. I placed my hand on Lex’s arm and slowly moved him to the side.
“No Lex, everything is fine.” I said to him.
“I thought… you were never coming back. After what I heard in the news… I thought you had died. I’m… sorry. Los- Aaru.” He said to me. “Please let me introduce you to my wife.” Icey said as he gestured for his wife to come over.

My heart sank in guilt and in sadness. She was much more beautiful and elegant that I and I couldn’t compete with that. She smiled and gently bowed. I bowed in return to show respect and she smiled. “You must be Icey’s lost kitten, he’s been telling me so much about.” She said kindly with a slight giggle.
“So… I heard he told you about me.” I said to her, masking on a false face of smiles.
“Yes he did. I’m sorry that your life’s been rough. And everyone in the Guild misses you.” She said softly. As she laced her hand with Icey’s. I felt Lex’s eyes on me, I felt that he knew the kind of pain that I felt.
Icey rubbed his wife’s belly gently and I had just only noticed that she was pregnant. This had caught me off by surprised, but I brought no blame unto him. It was my entire fault for leaving the way I did. And he deserves to be happy. Or so I thought at that moment.

I had bid them both farewell and a small blessing upon their lives. He’s happy now… That makes me glad I thought as I just walked out the store. Lex quickly followed after me. “Are you ok, Miss Aaru?” he asked me kindly. I shook my head holding back a lot of tears. “How are you feeling right now?” he asked me kindly once more.

“Alone. Sadden. I feel as though I don’t belong here right now. And that Rogue should just move on with his life. And deep down inside I know he has. And I’ve just wasted years of my life that I’ll never get back. And I hate myself for the things that I have done… I am truly a wicked pers-” Lex had stopped me as he placed his hand over my mouth. He sighed deeply and looked at me. “I don’t think you’re wicked please stop being hard on yourself.” He looked at me, staring at my eyes. I saw that he meant it and that meant a lot to me.

I headed towards the direction of my old house. I wanted to see if everything was there the way I left it, or everything changed and I no longer live there. Lex had walked with me asking me where I was taking him. I simply replied with one word; Home. He looked a bit shocked, but he still followed me. And there it was my house, between the Skin Care and Hair Salon Place. I opened the door to my house and walked inside. I turned on the lights and everything was the same. I looked at Lex and invited him in.

“How do you know Rogue?” I asked him as I walked towards the sofa.
“I told you, He’s my master, I learn and serve under him” he responded looking at the pictures on the wall and on my desk. I saw him look down and flipped a few pages that I had written. “Oh, so you’re a writer Miss Aaru?” he asked. I nodded at him with a light smile and answered him. “Yes, I’m only on Chapter 12. I had completely forgotten that I left it here. I thought I had it one me. Ever since I moved to Ludibrium, I forgot about my story.”
Lex picked up the unfinished book and walked over towards me and sat on the couch adjacent to me. “May I read?” he asked kindly. I nodded once more with a light smile and said to him. “Sure.” He looked at the cover of the book and was amazed of the title.
Ice Covered Road to Dreams

Lex read my book for several hours until the last chapter. Among the first few hours I had sat on my porch looked at the sun set in the sky, hoping that Rogue is watching the very same sunset that I was. I had wrapped myself in my Icarus cape as I sat on my porch until he was finished reading. The night sky had emerged and it had became a little to cold for me but I didn’t mind it at all. He approached me and sat next to me on a step. There was a small silenced between him and I. Without looking at him I knew he was a little disturbed about my life and what he just read. And I didn’t mind it at all.

“I never knew… My Master, Rogue was so important to you, Miss Aaru.” Lex said as he broke the silence between him and myself. “Rogue has been writing a story as well, in his journal. He seems empty and he values the whole world when he writes in his journal.” I looked at him, unable to find the right words to say. “I… see.”

The snow had begun to fall beautiful that night. Lex slept in the living room as I slept in my old room. I couldn’t help but watch the snow fall beautifully from the sky and how much I had thought about my past. Through my entire life… I have never suffered more than being without Rogue. Life’s so lonely, and I’ve caused so much suffering amongst myself and the people around me. My thoughts floated around the snow, how beautiful it looked and how much it had reminded me of Rogue and myself when we were young. That night had became a restless night because I thought of Rogue again.

During the middle of the night, as I couldn’t rest. I walked towards my dresser and opened the top drawn and found an old letter that was written to me from Rogue. I held onto the letter as I walked back to my bed, throwing the covers over my legs as I sat up on my bed, resting my back against the headboard. I opened the letter and read his message… again.

Dear Sweet Aaru:

I would love to shower you with rose petals from my soul. To breathe upon your sweet flesh whispers of eternity filled with lustful nights. To wrap my arms around your naked flesh and shudder when you cry. If only life were this easy. If only you craved my embrace as I crave yours. My sweet love. Don’t ever forget me. I will be here…Where you left me.

Love,
Rogue

This letter, as I remembered correctly, was written at the time I went to train with Tenan for the first time. Before anything serious happen, and everything was all right with the world. I was more of Tenan’s student than servant and I had no maple father. And Rogue and I saw each other everyday, even though my training was intense under Tenan.

I never left him. And I never forgot about him.

Behind that letter, I had found another one. It was a letter I had written for him. I wasn’t able to send it because my timing was late and he already left me. This hurt my badly. However, I read the letter remembering each word.

Dear Loving Rogue:

Your words find me on the brink of despair. From them, I take strength in your patience with me and your love.

I need your quiet strength now more than ever. Yet, for your sake, and the sake of others here, I cannot be near you now. Tenan’s training is harsh and it is separating us; I am now burdened with the regret of it. But I pray that you and I will find each other again and do things like we use to do.

You are dearest to my heart. You have only recently set your training to rest. I am locked now in struggle with his training and keeping my promises for you. You know who he is. You’ve heard the rumors.

I can ask nothing from you but of your love. Your infinite patience with me has been more than I deserve. I have been an entirely terrible love to you, or so the opinion runs. All that I request is that you keep your promise and never forget about me.

I will come to you when I can.

Eternally Yours,
Aaru

This letter was never given to him. He left before I could mail it. How goodness how I miss him so much.

I laid on my bed, resting my head on the pillow and the sun rose in the partly cloudy sky. I curled up as I gripped the letters tightly to my chest and let out a painful sigh. My tears fell from my eyes as I closed them and my body quivered with sadness. What was left of this morning since the snow has stopped? What was left of me since Rogue left? I had never felt so empty before, and at that point I just wanted to give up on everything. And just sleep everything away.

There was a soft knock on my bedroom door. It was Lex on the other side knocking. “It’s open” I yelled and the door opened. Lex walked in and saw me cry. He walked over and kneeled before me, next to my bed. He gently wiped my tears away and asked me what was wrong.
“Everything is wrong.” I said to him, as I clung unto the letters close to my chest.
“Miss Aaru… today will be a better day. So… Please don’t cry.” He said kindly to me, wiping more tears away from my eyes and face. I looked at him, calming down slightly. “You never answered my question, Lex.” I said to him.
“What question?” he looked at me with confusion. His white bunny, Milkshake, hopping onto my bed.
“How do you know Rogue?” I asked him again, for the second time.

There was a small silence, only his bunny kyu`ing here and there.

“Well…” he started off. “Just how Tenan found you in that green mushroom tree. I was found by him.” He relaxed himself and sat on the floor, resting his back on my nightstand. “This is quiet a long story, so yeah, get comfy.” He said yawning a bit. I remained still, laying on my side as his bunny laid on my hip falling back to sleep. Lex took off his heavy armor and set his weapons to the side and kicked off his boots and removed his blood nightfox hat. At that moment I felt as though my sadness uplifted for a moment and my focus was all on Lex.

“Well, before Rogue, my Master, met me. He had a trainer under him. This was before he left to become then Ultimate Chief Bandit. And I decided to follow his footsteps as he apprentice.
He trained hard, and I do mean hard. Say for each skill I master… he masters two other skills. He was that amazing. Well, as for me meeting him. It was kind of my fault. Being a teen and all… I nearly killed myself.
I had wandered into the Fire Drakes territory. And there he was, killing away those monster with little to no ease. His powers were strong compare to my own now. And I had admired him for that. Well, I had accidentally hit one of the fire-breathing monsters with my dagger and I ran away. It followed me and launched fireballs and it was terrible. It nearly killed me.
So then he comes and kills it in about one or two savage blow attacks and he was done. He handed me a party communicator and hooked it up with my own communicator and he trained me to my ideal strength. And I had asked him where did he learn to train the way he did. And he responded. ‘From my old master, she’s a B*tch when it comes to training.’
And since that day, I’ve been learning and working under his wing.”

I looked at him and sighed softly. “That wasn’t very long.” I said a bit sarcastically. He looked over and sighed as well. “Alright, I’ll get into the finer details if you like… but it might take all day though.” He said in a slight worrying voice. I shrugged it a bit and looked at him “It’s all right, I have all the time in the world.”

Lex continued with his story…

“Well, his training methods are much harsher than that of your Teacher, Tenan. He’s was strict and often made me starve to tighten my stomach when I fight. What that does is to make you focus more and concentrate more, I don’t know who made that up but they were a genius!
Rogue taught others but they quickly left after the first session. And I was often his star pupil. At times he would talk about a woman that he always wanted to see again. He would go all mushy and talk about her as if she was a goddess. How much she was the sun in his sky and the rain for his grass… Romantic crap like that.”

I happened to smile at this point… I found it kind of funny.

“After I got to my ideal strength, he was thinking of finding this girl and he loved her so much he wrote a book about her. His history, everything. Much like you have Miss Aaru.
He didn’t know where to look but since he had gotten so much money we went to look for her EVERYWHERE… but luckily I found you. And I promised him if I found her, that is you, before he did. I was to keep you safe and bring you to him.
He often talked about you, and his eyes would change from being strict to having a warm heart. He said to me one ‘One day, after everything is through and over with… I will ask her to marry me.’ And that was the last I’ve seen him.”

Only thirty minutes passed by. The last thing he had said confused me, “What do you mean ‘that was the last I’ve seen him’? What happened?” I asked. He shrugged slightly rubbing his head a bit. “It’s been over two years since I seen him last.” Lex looked at me and apologized as he saw the disappointed look upon my face.

“I’ll… go cook some breakfast.” I said to him as I rose from my bed wearing my red sauna robe. “Uh… oh… all right then.” He said reluctantly as he rose from the floor and exited my room. I had went to the kitchen and prepared breakfast. As breakfast was prepared, I went to the bathroom to take a shower.

There I stood in the shower as the steam from the really warm water filled the bathroom. I just stood there for a moment, thinking as the water hit the top of my head, my spiky hair falling straight. I gently passed my hands over the scars on my shoulders and I winced a bit. My sides a little beaten up.
I had whispered silently in the bathroom as the water ran, trying to remember the song Rogue always sung to me. “If anything bad had happened to you, or if you’re hurt or dead… I blame myself. And if you are dead… I’ll come to be with you. And if you are happily married… I’ll just disappear forever.” I rose my hands to my face and cried as the really warm water became a little hot, to warm up my cold skin.

If only… If only I could change back the hands of time…

I always wanted to change the hands of time. To be with Rogue again. Now I don’t even know if he’s dead… or alive. I regret everything that I have done… and I would give anything to change this path that I have chosen. I want to change the hands of time and find Rogue before it’s too late. I, too, want to tell him I love him… with the bottom of my heart.

The letters had fallen on the floor since I rose up from my bed to cook breakfast then to take a shower. The letters filled with tear and age. Tattered and somewhat torn. Each word in these letters has deep meaning and feelings. Which now feels one-sided. And at some point… the letters were written in blood from the heart that never stops bleeding for the love of its life. My heart hasn’t stop bleeding for his love, but has his heart stop bleeding for his love for me? I could understand completely… If I was too late to love him now… or to ever make him happy. If only I had one wish… it would be to go back to Maple Island… to where it all began.

It was a place to which we could never return

-Aaru